Webster’s defines love as “the fatherly concern of God for man; brotherly concern for others; unselfish concern that freely accepts another in loyalty and seeks his good; the attraction based on sexual desire; the affection and tenderness felt by lovers”.

Many Spiritual philosophies define love as an invisible vibrational energy that connects all life forms on the planet to each other, and to a higher power (which some call God). Love is our essence, our innate spiritual perfection which is at our core and is our truest nature. It is the place from which we can access answers to all of our questions and problems. Our soul or spirit is pure, undifferentiated, perfect, spiritual LOVE. Spiritual Love embraces everyone, excludes no one, never dies, knows no fear, and will always lead us in the right direction.

We experience SPIRITUAL LOVE in many ways in our day to day lives. It is acts of loving kindness, a warm smile from a stranger, giving when and where we see a need, and having the ability to receive freely. Expressing compassion, empathy, understanding, and forgiveness are acts of spiritual love and serve to enhance our spiritual selves. This kind of LOVE can be found everywhere in the beauty and perfection of nature, and in all human beings if we have the vision to see it. LOVE is seeing the GOOD in everyone and everything (ourselves included), rather than focusing on the negatives. SPIRITUAL LOVE is understanding the ONENESS of all of humanity.

Often it is easy to extend kindness, compassion, understanding, empathy and forgiveness to others; however, for many, bestowing this SPIRITUAL LOVE upon ourselves is a difficult task. We are so quick to judge ourselves, make ourselves wrong, when we are not “perfect”. We tell ourselves that when we get it “right”, or achieve perfection, we’ll love ourselves. Or, worse yet, we love ourselves based on our accomplishments, our weight, our looks, our bank account, our success in the world, and what others think and say about us. Some are waiting for the right person to make them complete and whole by loving them and validating that they are lovable.

Negative self-judgment is the opposite of love.  It is one of the most demoting factors in our ability to deeply know ourselves, to change and grow. It creates non-action. Why are we so hard on ourselves and so unwilling to accept that we are great human beings just as we are; that we are worthy and deserving of all the good life has to offer by our birthright. Our view of life and ourselves is often learned from our role models and our religious and cultural conditioning. Unfortunately, our culture does not often support self-acceptance and self-love without “accomplishment”.  Our VALUE is too often based on tangible, material things, rather than spiritual qualities.

LOVING ONESELF is the most direct route to good health, happiness, prosperity, and fulfillment from life. Many would say that they love themselves; however, their lives do not reflect self love. LOVE heals because love is everything that is good and positive. When absolute, unconditional love is present, it means there is no fear, doubt, control, guilt, anger, or judgment, all of which contribute to health and lifestyle problems.

How do we get there? What are the STEPS to self-love?

· INTENTION is everything-- knowing why we are choosing to do anything. If our intention is for the highest good of all concerned, there is no reason for guilt, fear, or self-doubt.

· Explore any GUILT you may be holding onto and FORGIVE yourself. Make amends where possible. Remember, there are no mistakes. Everything you’ve done has always been the best choice you could make based on the amount of wisdom, experience, and knowledge you had at the time.

· If there is any anger or resentment towards another, figure out what the positive is from the experience, forgive those concerned, and let it go.

· Acknowledge yourself everyday for something. Even better, acknowledge yourself to others daily. Likewise, compliment, acknowledge, and express love to others daily.

· Say no when you mean no, and yes when you mean yes. Often we commit to things because we think we are the only answer. TRUST that the universe has unlimited answers to every problem. When we honor ourselves by not overcommitting, we open the door for the universe (God, Higher Power, etc.) to take over.

· Make PEACE OF MIND your goal, and everything good will flow from that place.

· Engage in daily activities that make you feel light and joyful.

· Perform loving acts of kindness regularly—anonymously.

· Engage in activities that help you remember your “spiritual perfection”. This could be any creative activity that keeps you “in the moment”; any activity that gets you out of your head; being in nature; meditation or prayer (there is no right or wrong way to pray); journaling, quiet time for self-reflection and communication with your higher self.

· When negative feelings emerge from or toward another, try to get inside their shoes and feel what they are feeling (empathy). One of my teachers once told me that if we understood a person’s history, we would never judge another.

· Become the person you are trying to attract. That’s right. Define the qualities of someone you would like to have in your life. Like attracts like. You will be a magnet for LOVE.

It is not selfish to engage in self-love as many believe; it is actually arrogant to not love oneself, Love or lack of it affects everyone and everything in the universe. Being respectful and loyal to yourself, your ideals and values will not only positively change your life, but also contribute to world peace. Can you imagine what life would be like if everyone came from this high-powered spiritual place? We would create a new humanity for ourselves, our children and generations to come, a humanity based on Love and Respect rather than Fear.

Deborah Barr

 Deborah is a sought after speaker and writer sharing her Holistic message to audiences of regional and national scope. She can be reached by calling 412.421.7760, e-mailing health @wholehealthresources.com, or visiting www.wholehealthresources.com.